Field notes

Short reads. No routines.

Five quick notes on asking good questions, consent, listening, owning it when you slip up, and why she isn’t a puzzle to solve. Read one before you head out. Use it — don’t perform it.

1. 01Questions that aren't an interviewBeing curious feels warm. An interview feels like a clipboard. She can tell which one you brought.4 min
2. 02Consent is a conversationA yes is about a specific thing, right now — and she can change her mind. Anything else is you guessing.5 min
3. 03Listen, then talkWaiting for your turn isn’t listening. She can see it in your face.4 min
4. 04Apologise without the speechA good apology is small and specific. A speech is asking to be forgiven before you’ve said what you did.4 min
5. 05Interest is not a puzzleIf you need a theory to work out whether she likes you, you’ve drifted too far from what she’s actually said.5 min